資料來源:周祝瑛（2000）。猪肉攤上的教育家。臺北：南宏。

美國社會如何向中華文化取經

(What can American society learn from Chinese culture?)

The Beautiful Country

When I was in my country people always talked about how prosperous and advanced America was． In the Chinese language， the term used for “America” means “a beautiful country．”…… Yes， I do agree that it is a modern and beautiful place． However， after having been here for two years， I have realized that， like any other country on the earth， America is not a paradise after all． As a Chinese proverb says America is “a fairyland for children， a battlefield for adults， and a graveyard for the old．”

A Fairyland for Children

America is a fairyland for children． Children seem to be valued very highly in this country． When compared to the oriental children of the same age， American children are not under the severe pressure exerted by their schools or families． American

children are educated individually according to theirtalents． Uniqueness， creativity， and independence are very important qualities in the American society． Academic achievement is not emphasized as vigorously in this fairyland． Most children in America are energetic， active， and even “buzzing with enthusiasm．” While their oriental counterparts are busy with their homework and extra hours tutoring after school， the American children are busy planning for holidays and tours．

A Battlefield for Adults

According to my observations， American adults are practical， aggressive， independent， and confident． In order to survive in a highly competitive society， Americans feel they have to operate to their maximum ability and strive to be “the best”． Truly， it is a society for the survival of the fittest and the strongest． Productivity and efficiency in the marketplace create an impersonal atmosphere where many Americans become “workaholics．” Because people are very serious at work they consequently need to learn know how to relax and enjoy life． Many times they are unable to find relaxation because they are so involved with the practicalities of life．

A Graveyard for the Old

After arriving in this country， I lived with a retired American teacher who had been widowed twice． This lady seemed to be independent and full of energy， however she was very lonely． To my surprise， her two “dear” adult children (as she refers to them) seldom visited her even though they lived in the neighborhood． “They are not to blame，” she once said， “and besides， the best way to maintain a good relationship with my children is not to disturb their family life and scare them away．” In order to escape the bereavement of her dead husbands and the subsequent feelings of emptiness， she occupied her time with bridge games， parties， and shopping． Like thousands of

 other senior citizens in this country， she still lives all by herself without financial and spiritual support from her family． In my opinion， although she is materially well off， she has to face a reality of living without her family and feelings of aimlessness．

Being Senior Parents?

America should be a wonderful land for people of different ages． However， the lonely plight of the old， compared to that of children and adults saddens me． Many American family relationships begin to disintegrate as the children mature and the parents grow

older． It seems to me that American families are unwilling to give priority in taking care of their elderly． This attitude bothers me． The following is a scenario of the types of relationships between adult children and their senior parents:

Story 1: An old American was thrown out of a house by his landlady-his own daughter-because he could not afford the rent for three months．

Story 2: A Chinese couple sacrificed their savings to support their son's study in the United States for many years． After their retirement， the couple came to visit their son and their American daughter—in—law． Three months later， before the Chinese parents

went home， they received a bill from the daughter—in—law， asking them to pay the expenses of their visit． The couple paid the bill and left with broken hearts．

What kind of rationale stands behind these stories? Some American friends explained:

——because American people value independence;

——because American people demand their rights as individuals， and dislike being “disturbed” by others;

——because American people regard living with their senior parents as a burden;

——because American people feel no responsibility in taking care of their aged parents;

——and because American people believe that the government will take care their retired parents by the “Double S” (Social Security)．

In A Contrast

The above statements are realistic， but very different from the way the Chinese perceive their parent—child relationships． As Carol Gilligan indicates in her book， “In A Different Voice，” American people value their personal human rights first; that is， their individuality， freedom， greater autonomy， self—realization， and personal accomplishment are held very dear． In contrast， the Chinese value human relationships with people and emphasize responsibility to each other． Therefore， the American moral essence develops as a sense of respect for rights of others， because it protects one's own rights to freedom and self—fulfillment． The Chinese respect others' needs as persons， and share the society's various responsibilities as a group．

The Chinese Family

The Chinese moral tradition has focused on family， in which every man has the dual obligations to continuous his role as both the son and the father． Chinese people regard family as a deep rooted tradition， which has many enduring features．

For example， the family provides security and harmony between the old and the young． Because of growing up in an extended family， I have enjoyed the wisdom and the warmth from many elderly people during my life． In our family， we are always taught to pay respect to the elderly， and to appreciate the sacrifice and the

hardships of our parents． Filial piety， the responsibility to take care of our parents when they become old， is an expression of love toward them． The love of our parents and the filial piety of the children continue to co—exist all times．

The parent—child relationship is the first and the basic ethic in the traditional morality of the “Wu—lun” (five relationships: father and son; elder brother and younger one; husband and wife; friends; ruler and subject)． A Chinese proverb states， “One

cannot expect a person to be loyal to his country without having filial piety to his own parents first．” Showing respect and taking care of one's parents is the first step toward serving others． Like Americans， Chinese also value their children and regard the young as their future hope． However， Chinese show regard for and take care of their old people because these people have given their time and energy to the younger generations．

Although the extended family system is being 're—'placed by the nuclear family system of today， the spirit of the “love and filial piety between parents and children” in the family continues to influence the younger Chinese generation．

Another Solution

When a young couple finds it difficult to look for someone reliable to baby—sit their children， the grandparents may enjoy having grandchildren around． When an elderly person needs someone to talk to， and the young need some advice for life， family provides the best shelter and support． As an American friend said， “I love independence， but I cannot avoid the great emptiness of being alone．” The Chinese culture of cherishing family ties between the old and the young can fill the gap of

 independence and loneliness in American society． The essence of the Chinese family where the children and the parents bear love and responsibility for each other will have a positive influence if it were integrated into the American society． We all know that American society has been threatened by problems such as the increase of single parenting， teenage pregnancy， drugs， and even the emergence of homeless people， which are the results of the breakdown of the family system． Relying on the social security and government policies can neither cure nor prevent these problems． It is about time for Americans to re—strengthen family ties． The ideals of Chinese culture which the American society lacks are the love and responsibility of and for parents． This value will compensate for the imperfections in each individual and will bring in additional strength to back up at times of crisis． In this manner， the reputation of “a graveyard

for the old” will be brought to an end． The children， the adults， and the old can share the American dream together．

After being alone in the Unites States for a year， my husband joined me and is now studying for his doctoral degree at UCLA． While my dissertation continues to make progress， my financial situation has become very constrained since the expiration of my scholarship from the Ministry of Education． Without financial assistance it will be difficult， at best， to meet my goal of completing my doctoral programs by June 1992．